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How to Safely Remove a Sharp Cat from a Linen Closet

Through careful, scientific experimentation I have discovered the safe way to remove a sharp cat who has jumped into the linen closet from said linen closet without sustaining life threatening injuries. This procedure assumes that the cat has already snuck into the closet and taken up a position in the inky darkness on previously clean towels and or sheets, claws and fangs at the ready. Reaching into the closet without a shark-proof bite suit is suicidal, so just follow this simple procedure instead.

Step 1: Close the door to the linen closet with the cat inside.
Step 2: Knock *LOUDLY* on the door 3 to 5 times.
Step 3: Standing behind the door, and using the door as a shield, open said door.
Step 4: Observe as sharp cat *leaps* out of closet, tail erect and poofed out, claws extended, and fur standing on end.
Step 5: Close the door and exit the area before the cat wises up and seeks retribution.

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