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Gitmo High Security Retirement Home

On a recent visit to Kansas, I and some of my family paid a visit to some of our notoriously stubborn elder relatives. These little old ladies all live alone and refuse to consider any other living arrangement. None of them really have any business being alone. They fall, they nearly burn their houses down, but they will not be moved. I have often thought that any attempt to move them is going to involve SWAT and pepper spray, and the only successful move will be a black op where camouflaged troops are dropped in by chopper in the middle of the night, the old ladies are drugged and blindfolded, and then whisked away to a nursing home in an undisclosed location. This actually got me thinking about a business opportunity.

Our new president has signed the order to close Gitmo and it has me wondering what will become of the place. Whatever your political beliefs I am sure that we can all agree that Gitmo is quite a secure facility. Lots of cells for holding the worst of the worst, but it is also in Cuba where it is nice and warm. If you have spent any time at all in a 90 year old woman's house, you will know that they like to keep their homes at Cuba-hot temperatures. With the economy the way that it is, a person might be able to pick up surplus base like Gitmo for a fairly cheap price. I think that you can see where this is going.

I propose a new, maximum security facility that offers a special, black ops pickup service. Do you have a stubborn, possibly well armed granny who really should not be living alone any more? You could phone up the Gitmo High Security Retirement Home and they would come in low, under the cover of darkness, tranquilize your granny, and swoop her off to Cuba. Grany would awake in her quarters, nice and warm, and secure on an island behind barbed wire. No escaping to play bingo or go to Walmart and potentially driving the Buick through a store window. As our population ages I think that the business case for a Gitmo High Security Retirement Home gets stronger and stronger. Now I just need some financial backers with crazy old relatives....


Anthogna said…
Best idea ever.

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