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Shed Saga

Recently I had a yard implement catch 22. I wanted a chipper to take care of yard waste, but my shed is full, so I needed another shed. The problem was that I needed to use the chipper to clear space to put the shed so I could store the chipper. I looked at Costco and Home Depot and chose a plastic, put together yourself shed. How hard can it be to put together a plastic shed?

Let's start with the purchase. There is a row of sheds in the parking lot at The Home Depot. I want to buy one just like this one. No clerks in sight. I go into the garden area and ask for a shed. The clerk asks for the stock number. There is no stock number on the shed. I point to it and say that one, the one on the end. She pages a helper. Time passes. She pages again. And again. And Again. After 6 pages someone wanders up, slowly, and asks if someone needs help. Yes, I need a shed - just like that one. The helper goes to see if they have one. Fifteen minutes later he comes out with several boxes. He has the wrong shed. "I knew it," he says. More time passes. He comes back and says that he has the shed on a forklift at the loading area. From start to finish it took an hour from the time I first told the clerk that I wanted a shed to when they had it out for me. An hour. Did they have to drive to Tacoma and pick one up? Nope. Just had to walk to the back room. I pulled the firetruck up to the loading area and they put the shed in the back. The three boxes completely filled the truck.

Alex and I took the shed home and began the brush clearing with The Chipper. That went fine, except that my first choice of locations was too small. We selected a second location and I began to trim The Shrubbery Of Infinite Branches. I only needed to clear an 8 foot by 10 space, but the shrubbery branches seemed to fill the entire back yard after they were cut away from the bush. Finally I cleared a space and began to assemble the floor. If I ever find out who designed the floor I am going to beat him to within an inch of his life, drive him to the hospital, get him all healed up, and then beat him again. According to the instructions it just snaps together. Legos snap together. This shed was not made by Lego. I ended up buying a Dremel tool and a bunch of screws and hacking it together. The sides are not hard to put up - so long as there is zero wind. The slightest breeze began to wreak havoc and blow the sides down. Luckily, one of my retired neighbors was able to come over and help me. There is zero chance that I could have put that shed together by myself. We are in Seattle, of course, so it began to rain before we could finish. My neighbor went home and I tried to finish the roof by myself. Nothing doing.

This shed assembly will enter it's sixth day tomorrow, including shrub clearing. You know those wood sheds that they bring out on a truck, fully assembled, and just drop in your yard? Yeah. They cost more than the plastic sheds, but whatever the extra cost is, just pay it.

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